Zeke's First Two Years

Today we took a trip into Zeke's past. Our guide, Helen, asked us last week if we wanted to visit Zeke's orphanage and "founding place." There are many families who don't get this chance because the orphanages are spread all over the province, some 5 to 6 hours away. We knew it was something we wanted to do not only for our information, but to provide Zeke with as much information about his first years as we can when he starts asking questions.

Zeke's orphanage, the Social Welfare Center of Dongguan City, is about an hour and a half by van from our hotel in Guangzhou and his "founding place," Changan Hospital in Changan Town, Dongguan City (different areas of large cities have different names, like areas of Seattle) is about an hour past the orphanage. We weren't sure how he would handle that much time cooped up in a vehicle but we packed the diaper and camera bags and went for it! We also weren't sure if we were going to take Zeke into the orphanage when we arrived because we weren't sure what effect it would have on him. Would he think we were taking him back? Would he not want to leave with us once he saw his nanny and friends again? So many unknowns when you can't ask your child how he will feel. Once we were there we decided to take him inside with us.
 

 

The main entrance to the Social
Welfare Center. The characters read
"Everything Done for the Children."

Outside of the orphanage. The sign reads
"Social Welfare Center of Dongguan City."





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The orphanage grounds are quite extensive and there are many buildings surrounding the main building. We found out that each of the surrounding buildings was a "family house." The children are separated by age and ability and put into a "family." Those with more significant medical needs are housed together in a "family" or elsewhere where they can be cared for appropriately. Each "family" has a living space that is all inclusive. There is a living room/play room, two bedrooms full of cribs, and a bathroom/washroom. We were able to go into Zeke's former living quarters and watch as he interacted with his friends and the nanny. He was by far the most dominant personality in the room. :) We weren't sure, but he also seemed to be the oldest. There are up to 15 children in each "family" and two nannies who care for them; one during the day and one at night. The children who were in this "family" were adorable . . . I bent down and one little boy looked at me, walked over, touched my hair and then proceeded to pull it to see if it was real. He had probably never seen blond hair before! :) Another little guy came over and just stood in front of me. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to be held but he had no idea how to ask (they don't hold their arms out, that is a learned behavior) so I just scooped him up and was rewarded with a smile.

 

Left wall after entering the door.
A TV (for watching children's songs
- Now we know why he is singing
all the time!) and storage cabinets.

Main door into the "house." It is left
open with the gate to block off the
entrance. The windows are also left
open. The way the building sits this
creates nice cross breeze for cooling.













Zeke and his nanny
Lady Wang
(pronounced Wong)



Right wall after entering the door.
This wall is blank except for the
cabinet in the corner. The mats on
the floor are alphabet mats with a
picture of an animal, the English word,
and the Chinese letter for each.





While in Zeke's former "house" we saw his crib (which we found out he crawled out of on a regular basis) and were able to ask more questions of the nanny (the one working is the one who brought him to us at the Civil Affairs office). Some more pieces fell into place pertaining to his personality and reasons why he does things the way he does. For example, they do not have toys to play with lying around or things that are their own. Everything is communal. We somewhat expected this but it drove home why something as simple as putting away Zeke's spoon can send him over the edge. He doesn't know how to process that he will get it back when he needs it. When it came time to continue our tour of the grounds we weren't sure what to expect from Zeke. Would he want to stay? Start crying? Throw a tantrum? We had braced ourselves for the worst but what we hoped for happened instead. I walked over to him and said, "Come with Mama, it's time to go." He looked at me, raised his arms, and as I picked him up gave me a huge grin. Then off we went without a second glance. Whew! :) That little action on his part confirmed that he knows we are Mama and Papa.

 

Zeke in his former crib (7 cribs in the room).
It was longer than the others because he is
taller and it was stuck in the corner to help
keep him from climbing out. Good thing the
mattress is way lower in our crib! The children
sleep in the crib as seen. No mattress, sheets, or
blankets. This helped us see why he prefers
sleeping on the chair rather than the bed,
it is firmer/closer to what he is used to.

Next we went to the main building where there are classrooms and dorm rooms for the the children ages 3 and up. They are moved from their "family home" to this wing of the building and live in boarding school type rooms once they turn three. This is where Zeke would have moved to at the beginning of October. More of an "educational setting" was how it was described to us. The "school" is called Sunshine Academy and the cool part is that the orphanage partners with a school with the same name in California. Several times a year training is provided for the teachers at the orphanage by people who come from the California sister school. They are taught teaching techniques and child progress is monitored.

Overall Zeke couldn't have been in a better orphanage. It was extremely clean, the nanny was caring and friendly and he was well fed, kept clean, and seems to have been cared for to the best of their abilities. Dongguan is a wealthy city because of all of the industry so donations from businesses and people are frequent. This is a huge benefit and it is reflected in the conditions. Another interesting side note is that the Social Welfare Center is not only an orphanage but also a home for the elderly. The two groups are usually kept separate but sometimes a "grandma" will go into the outdoor areas with the children and hug on them. :)

After the orphanage we drove to the hospital where Zeke was found. We went to the location in the hospital where he was found and took pictures. That was a bit surreal . . . attempting to put yourself in the shoes of the mom who left him is impossible. The stairwell/elevator area is at the entrance to the patient intake area and has heavy foot traffic. Our guess is that he wasn't alone long before someone found him. After this journey we still have questions that will never be answered, but we have gained personal experience and knowledge of places that have influenced our son; places he will need/want to know about in the future.

 

Zeke's "founding place."

Stairwell/Waiting area where Zeke
was found. The exact location
(in the stairwell, by the chairs, etc.)
is not specified in his file.

 


Zeke was a trooper today! Four and a half hours in a car is a LONG time for a little guy and we don't know what emotional impact, if any, being at the orphanage had on him. We know it was a lot for us to process! We are glad we made the trip and hope someday he will want to make it again when he can better comprehend its significance.

3 days left until we are home!

RRZ

P.S. Taking pictures at the orphanage was a bit tricky because we had to make sure we did not get any of the other children in them. Hopefully the captions will help you get an idea of what is what. :)